So my whole family has anger issues and being around them hurts me. I try to talk to them and all of a sudden they are projecting their personal problems onto the world and being angry about Everything and Yelling at me because I happen to talking about something they want to be angry about. I am used to this from my parents, who don’t believe in resolving their own problems; however, i feel sad that they are ruining my brother’s life by investing ALL their anger into him and make him this explosive bomb that ticks off almost every time i try to converse with him. I should say that i’m glad he’s not so stressed out that he’s threatening to ask his friends to break my arms and legs so i can’t maneuver to his parents’ house anymore. So him just being angry and yelling things Without threatening me is an improvement. I don’t need to get into what my parents like to yell about, i Can say that they are meaner than my brother, just older and less physically threatening.
I am currently trying to work through and absolve all my anger issues and it’s a process that takes time. Reading about just what kind of angry bullshit i have to deal with all throughout my life probably explains why it’s not easy for me to work through the lingering affects it has on me …
Last week i tried to have a simple conversation with my brother about how i like a certain fitness coach and how it seems like a fun job and he started to angrily rant about how he knew people who needed coaches and how he thinks that’s absolutely pathetic because he makes himself stay up all night studying because he has the Will to do so and that if people need support they are wusses who don’t deserve shit or something like that.
It hurt to hear him so angry, it hurt to feel his anger, it felt like emotional daggers cutting into my happiness, my Balanced mental state. It felt like i was being emotionally punched down into a hole. It was difficult for me to not feel like it was my fault for talking about something that happened to upset him. So i came home and did a reading on this to help myself through the moment.
I asked: How to handle being hurt by my brother’s anger?
I should hold onto my physical symbol of what i want to manifest, my talisman and grounding myself in this reality of this world, this goal, this possibility, even as a break through has not come yet. What lies at the foundation of my pain is a lack of proper boundaries, I am letting angry people into my energy and allowing them to hurt me, which disconnects me from the love that the universe has for me.
Boundaries around me, and internal safe space within me. All that is sacred, all that is known, in and out, above and below.
With love as the guide for my heart and my soul, my body will follow, the mind will produce, and from this path a dream is induced into physical manifestation.
The Earth and physical reality is there for me, I am blessed. My connection to physical reality allows my blessings to manifest in this realm. Knowing that my friends are there for me can uplift my spirit and carry me above these dense and heavy feelings of hurt. I can reach out to them. In the past i did not properly transmute energy or think clearly, so now there is work for me to do. Right now i release myself from the ego’s projection of jealously that infects my family members and produces this contagious anger. As I am in an environment of healing and receptivity. I am worried about what a lack of meditation does to my plans. However, I should know that my work will pay off and I will have a balanced prosperity.
Spirit is there to guide me, and the physical Earth is here to hold me. I need not escape into fantasy, reality is here, I am here, and I Can Change my Reality.
I used to spend a majority of my day daydreaming as i did my work and lived around anger infested family members. It was how i’d learned to deal with my reality. Escapism is one thing they call it. However, i don’t have to escape reality anymore, and i shouldn’t, i need to remain attached enough to create the reality i want, the reality that is best for me, the reality that is in alignment with my soul purpose. And when I am feeling down in the dumps from external projections of anger, i can reach out to friends for some positive energy to cheer me up.
We, you, I and others don’t have to constantly escape reality in order to cope. We are capable of changing our reality and bringing about our goals. We are also able to reach out to friends for some positive energy input.
Wishing you all a good weekend, Umbra.