Category: realization

Reconnection & Recalibration

Swimming in the waves this Sunday allow me to cleanse myself and reconnected with the microcosm within myself as I let the worries and frustrations of the past go. Floating amongst the waves and letting the cold ocean water rinse off all energetic influences and slosh me around in waves allowed me to surrender my fears and anxieties. As my heart fast with the excitement and of being in moving water and felt it’s strength all around me, I exuded all the pent up negativity that had been piling up. I let myself acknowledge my vulnerability amidst the sloshing waves, as the heavily salted water went in my mouth, my eyes, my nose, my throat, drawing out all the energetic impurities I had accumulated this past cycle. With the release of clogged energy, emotions, fears, and worries, I was finally able to open up to reconnect with the world. I swam till my legs were too tired to run on land against the tug of the withdrawing tide, so I waited until the waves became smaller and gently flowed onto the beach. As I stepped back onto land, tired out from expulsion of clogged energy, vulnerability and anxiety, I was ready to relax and take in the day.

A video posted by Luna (@luna.obscura.tarot) on

In accordance with the message I received from Spirit, this Memorial Day weekend I spent time with friends and family, celebrating this life to honor the dead and all the blood, sweat and tears they shed to make this it possible for us to enjoy what we have. I thank Spirit for their message to rejoice and celebrate Together, sharing our joyful energy and embracing the vibrance of the day. Even though it was cast over and cold, we enjoyed ourselves in this relaxing adventure.

I came home from the beach relaxed and Energized! The perfect combination to start off the week! It also recalibrated my cycle and got me to an earlier sleep schedule which helps me prepare for early appointments later this week.

A photo posted by Luna (@luna.obscura.tarot) on

On Monday night I went through a mechanical purge of the unhelpful past habit of burning out online working on projects till I was too tired to stay awake and then could not fall asleep at all due to nerves so I stayed up working on some Manifestation homework and finally went to bed at 6am when I REALLY was too tired and passed out as soon as I laid down.

Today, the day after the purge, I am DONE with my unhelpful habits of the past and ready to begin a new cycle! Centered, rejuvenated and cleansed by this weekend!

I will no longer desperately apply to projects and job openings that “look good” I Know that I have work, am completing work, and have enough financially to keep me going. I will focus on my self-development, my classes (self development & business), really learn from my coaching sessions, and Clean Up!


Facing Frustrations and Letting Go to Grow

(cards pictured are the Sacred Symbols Oracle Deck by Marcella Kroll)

This past weekend I went through another emotional roller coaster of lows as I was unable to properly launch my Tarot business or my Periscope lecture series, then highs as I refilled myself with hope when I was encouraged by my teachers before and after their Spirit Circle, whence I came up with new ideas to work with, and eventually finished writing my first Ebook. I also remembered some certification courses online that I heard about in some online webinars and had been mildly interested in but had not gotten around to registering for them yet. So, while considering whether or not I should pay a couple hundred dollars for the online certifications for random things, i decided to get some readings at Learning Light before making the purchase. Hearing other people remind me that I already have my plate full and that I haven’t yet figured how to fit everything into my schedule and Complete my projects, then telling them about how I still have not finished these other online class series that I paid for; all of that helped me realized that I have to let some things go so I don’t overload myself and burn out again.

So I decided to forgo buying another load of classes I may never get around to watching and to just Stop shopping when I feel Lack. Instead, I will look inside myself, and clear the shadow that tells me I need more, speak to it and tell it that everything is ok because I have what I need inside of me. I have skills, analytical capabilities, and intuition that will get me through and help me reach my goals.

After deciding that, I pulled three cards, and these are what came out.

Disconnecting from what no longer serves me, cutting away all the excess and superficial layers that only burden me with their weight, so that I can grow out of the shell which confined me before. And finally be able to plant my feet on solid ground, knowing that I am strong and capable of anything I set my mind to.

Today I opened an email where Marie Forleo shares a talk she gave at SuperSoul Session on Oprah, and in it, she reminds us that everything is figure-out-able


When nothing seems to work out and you feel like a complete failure, remember that all is not lost. You have yourself, your body, mind, heart, and intuition.
You can utilize all these to Make things work out.
Let go of the ego’s urge to be perfectionistic
Let go of the ego’s urge to keep all the things that don’t fit into your schedule, and any other trivialities in life
Return to your center, feel and understand what you need. Understand and Know what you need.
Reset your plans and clear up any extraneous subquests that detour away from the final Goal
Set a more Clear path to the go
Asses, Reset, Rest, Reboot, Restart
Grow

Life is a learning experience, we live, we learn, we grow. Even when it feels like we are taking a few steps back, we are still moving forward.


Custom Tarot Card Layout : The Bird in reading on Synthesis / Tying up loose ends

  The Bird is a card layout that i developed for problem solving. It focuses on what is not seen, what is important to know, and what can either help or distract us. I also came up with this catchy poem to help with remembering the layout. This is one of my favorite layouts that i created, and i use it very often when reflecting on any issues at hand.


Myself & The Situation
3 things i don’t see
3 things to know
2 things that help
2 things that don’t
what grounds and crowns me

and i think this looks like a bird, hence the name

The Bird

  • 1 Myself
  • 2 & 3 the Situation
  • 4, 5, 6 Three Thing i Don’t See
  • 7, 8, 9 Three Things To Know
  • 10 & 11 Two Things That Help
  • 12 & 13 Two Things That Don’t
  • 14 what Grounds me
  • 15 what Crowns me

  I used this recently to look into problematic launches that i have been dealing with. For example, this month, i’v been working really hard on trying successfully to gain new dance students. However, despite avid marketing, it completely flopped and all the various people on social media and in real life who had showed interest, actually flaked out. So i went through a massive reset during the week of the Pink April Full Moon and mentally went over all the different websites/projects I have connected to my main site Umbra Solis Lux Lunae as well as my plan to write a book about tarot, then illustrate a series of tarot cards as well as some other abstract art, on top of that i am also getting more into web design and getting ready to organize and start journalling online about my various arts & crafts project, and i want to start new websites on other topics. With all these partially finished projects hanging around, most of them in stasis and many stored away in emotional purgatory, i was wondering how i could tie up loose strings and finalize Everything effectively ending my streak incompletes.

My reading:
The Bird : Synthesis

  I have not yet walked away from what no longer serves me, which disrupts my emotional balance and gets in the way of my learning. My emotions churn within me but do not flow outwards. Hence I must care for myself so that my heart can be open, allowing me to move forward with intent and purpose. What I don’t see is all the hope exists within me, consistently assisting me as i go through everything in life. My fire has turned inward to nurture myself as i recuperate. What I should know is that I don’t see or understand the whole truth of what is happening and I can stop worrying and tackling problems that throw me off my horse. What helps is m obstinate perfectionist carrying me through the spinning wheel of life, causing delays. What does not help is insisting on being strong and invulnerable trapping me in my mental tree/tower, wherein i refuse to come down due to unnecessary fears. The swords i see are created by the mind, the fear and wishes of the ego, driving me away from the ground that is there for me.

  This is not a time to insist on being strong, the Universe is breaking through my shell so that I may turn inward, reconnect with myself, my hidden self, before i move forward … because only after this, will i be able to start anew and build with a good foundation.

  When we don’t listen to the insistence of the Universe, it breaks through our defenses to teach us a lesson. When we are able to embrace the feelings of frustration and pain so that we can turn inward and return to the self. It is from here that our authenticity & integrity may lay the foundation for our development.


Daily Reading and Reflection for March 3, 2016 : Trust Work Transformation

Today was a busy day!

I love using Marcella Kroll‘s Sacred Symbols Oracle Deck!
0302Daily Reading
Today is a day of Focused Work done for the purpose as Tranformation and Beautiful blossoming of my spirit as i Metamorphosize into a new creature, the one representing this next phase of my life, or current phase, when i shed the cocoon of the past. What grounds me is Love, from my surroundings, the divine support of the Universe, encouraging me as i bustle about my day. Ultimately, this day will ease my storm and all that has gathered inside the self and outside, around me.

It was a busy day: preparing for a job interview, meeting people who were taking some of my overgrown plants, and calling to discuss a freelancing appointment. I only had time for physical therapy because a tutoring client cancelled. I am Really thankful i was given this time to do physical therapy since it has been 2 weeks since the last time i worked it. Then right when i was wondering about money, another student schedule a last minute class tomorrow. Thank You Universe! After finishing my physical therapy workout i quickly ate three bags of snacks before rushing over to class. I find out that class is cancelled, but by the grace of the universe i was given a session with Rev. Danielle Marie as compensation (i can’t find her personal web page). This was my first time getting a reading from her and i was very curious since she is the founder of the Temple of Light. I chattered a lot when she first asked me about what i had questions on and my words traveled up and away from me. She brought us back and asked about why i wanted to connect to the 5th dimension. I want to know what to do when i am confused, feeling lost and or lonely and helpless. I want to receive guidance. I want to feel connected to the all that is.

She told me that the guides said my issue was Trust, and as i heard this i listed several external reasons as to why i could not trust the external. Then she brought me back and said that trust is an inner issue relating to the self. Do i trust that i know enough, do i trust that i have done enough, do i trust that i can feel ok with trusting others, do i trust that i can act properly when others do things that hurt us, do i trust that i will be capable of facing the awkward and painful situations in life, do i trust that i will be strong enough to break away from people who are toxic to me, Do I Trust The Universe to give me what i asked for.

Other points she touched on are Quiet Time & Patience: Can i trust, and wait for the Universe to give me what i have been working hard for, and not drop all my work and pick up something else to work on. Can i quiet my mind and patiently wait for the answer i seek to come to me. Am i comfortable with silence

At the end she let me pull a card (this is one of Stewart Pearce‘s decks, don’t remember the exact name)

Benediction

Benediction : blessings of support from the universe

Do i trust that i Deserve them? Do i trust that i am loved and worthy of them, and that they will come to me?

Can we trust ourselves enough to believe that we are Good Enough, that we are Better than Good Enough, that we are Unique to this time & place and that the Universe loves us and sends us love and support.

Can we trust enough to not block out the love, support and guidance?

This calmed my inner storm and i went home eager to cook and eat a healthy meal. While cooking i noticed pressure in my right nasal cavity, a periodic releases of pressure in that area. It could be the weather, something about my body today, or a representation of the clearing going on within me.

When i finish this i will get ready for bed and try this new meditation technique Rev. Danielle Marie also taught me 😀


Resting in the Coffin of a Long Gone Lover

I didn’t used to pay any attention to Mercury Retrograde, but lately i’v noticed that it Does affect me, and Heavily.

Last night, I dreamed of traveling in a subway train to this outdoors woodsy type place to take part of a challenge, which was to live in this area for a week. I walked around absorbing the sights, sounds and feelings of the environment, while also observing the temporary dwellings of other challengers. The little old lady had built a cute little cottage, it was a red cherry wood color with a deep red varnish and had cute mat teal green wooden board type shingles, there were cute decorative shutters with flowers carved in the wood and maybe a pet (i don’t remember too clearly). According to the dream logic, it was the size of a “tiny house”, which was the size of a dumpster. The last guy i had been with was also there, and he had brought a coffin to serve as his tent. This coffin was the size of a car, had the look and feel of plywood from the hardware store, and it’s lid lifted up and stayed in place like the lid over the body of a grand piano. In the dream i thought about how it was a good structure to stand against the rain and asked him if he’d gotten that from the nearby town, to which he replied yes, and that town was 8 hrs away from here. I continued walking around observing the ground, seeing the damp leaves and feeling the moist over cast weather. Very blue gray with damp red fallen leaves on the ground. As night fell, I needed a place to stay since I had not made or brought my own dwelling, so I texted The guy and he replied with a message telling me to not bother him because he was spending the night in town. It was implied in the dream that i had permission to stay in his coffin, which i did for the rest of the challenge week, and The guy was never there as he was spending every night in town. I thought of how it would be nice for him to hold me as i rested but i also thought of how he most likely had a new girlfriend by now, even though i’d never asked him (both in real life and in the dream).
During the week the rain started Pouring and everyone in this area decided to gather in the subway station to celebrate. We all danced in a damp subway station with water logged cement floors, with some dancers flying up into the air.
At the end of the challenge, i was declared the winner of the challenge because i’d spent the entire week camping out in The guy’s coffin while other people either weren’t there (like The guy) or had their structure washed away by the rain (The little old lady).

Staying in the coffin of a long gone lover, wishing to be held again. Within this hiding place i rest my flame and take a break from the burning. I tend to myself so that the torrent of rain will not wash me away like everyone else.

Fresh rain is clearing, cleansing and to be celebrated! We let the water wash us, yet are careful to not be swept up and away by the current.

I rest as i shed my skin and grow

(photo of coffin here that i got online because pictures look nice in blog posts and i didn’t want to draw a coffin last minute. if anyone has better ideas on where and how to get random stock images like this, let me know 🙂 i am going to get better at looking for stock images as i write more)

During this Mercury Retrograde, i started with going back to a hobby i had quit, then started a side income idea i had given up on, and now i dream of the last guy.

As i type this i realize that my dreams are in sequence with each other, first i fight with myself and my shadow, then Anubis brings me to the shadow realm, and last night i rested in the coffin of a long gone lover.